The addict needs the behavior in order to escape the pain. Continuation of the behavior despite negative consequencesĪddicts clearly know they need to stop but cannot.Trauma Bond Addiction: How Trauma Bonds Become Addictive? Your partner is always promising you things but never delivers.You have constant arguments with your partner that never get resolved.You find yourself always making excuses for their unhealthy behavior.You feel stuck in the relationship and can’t see any way out, or never considered leaving the relationship, despite unhealthy patterns.You do everything you can to please your partner, but you’re not getting the same treatment in return.You continue to trust in your partner even though they are perpetually unreliable.When you don’t do as your partner says, you’re given silent treatment as a punishment.When you attempt to leave the relationship, you feel as if you physically can’t cope with being away from them.The following are signs that you or someone you know might be in a trauma bond:
TRAUMA BONDING HOW TO
Related: How To Stop Love Addiction? Top 5 Proven Steps to Overcome Love Addiction FREE Toxic Partner Worksheets You find no pleasure in anything other than the abusive person. Trauma bond creates an emotional dependency that can feel very similar to drug addiction. Related: Self-Abandonment: What Is It & How To Get Back In Touch With Yourself Stage 7: Emotional Addiction You become focused on the abusive person and their needs and moods. With your self-esteem decreasing, you find yourself neglecting your needs and desires and losing any self-awareness you had before. This leaves you mentally and emotionally exhausted and leads you to resign and submit. If you attempt to reason things out, they’ll blame you and criticize you. This is when you realize that having an open and logical discussion with your abusive partner is impossible. Related: Am I Being Gaslighted Quiz (& How To Recover From Gaslighting In 10 Steps) Stage 5: Resignation and submission Gaslighting is a manipulation technique that can make you doubt your own experiences.ĭuring this stage, your partner tries to gaslight you by twisting facts and denying your feelings and experiences. This stage starts slowly in general, so much so, you may not notice it or even mistakenly believe that this is a sign of people getting more comfortable together.Īs they start criticizing you and belittling you, you may begin to believe that it’s all your fault and that you deserve such treatment. Related: 21 Stages of a Narcissist Relationship (+FREE Breakup Recovery Worksheets) Stage 3: Shift to criticism and devaluation These are usually false promises and once they gain your trust and you become attached to them, they will back out of commitment and slowly distance themselves. They may suggest that you move in together and even get married. Your partner would then do everything they can to gain your trust. Related: 5 Weird Things Covert Narcissists Do To Manipulate Their Victims Stage 2: Gaining your trust The connection is so deep and intense, you start believing that you’ve met the “One.” 7 Stages of Trauma Bonding Stage 1: Love bombingĪt the beginning of the relationship, you are showered with love and affection. Trauma bonding can occur in the realms of romantic relationships, parent-child relationships, cults, hostage situations, etc. They even made jailhouse visits to their former captors. Trauma bonding is often associated with The Stockholm Syndrome (TSS), a psychological syndrome named after a hostage situation that took place in 1973 in Stockholm.Īccording to reports, the hostages formed an emotional attachment to their captors. Traumatic experiences cause us to shut ourselves off emotionally, and to survive, our primal instincts kick in. Trauma bonding is an emotional bond with an individual or a group of people that arise from a cyclical pattern of abuse perpetuated by intermittent reinforcement through rewards and punishments. Traumatic bonding can explain why people stay in abusive relationships.
Why do people stay in abusive relationships?Ībusive relationships are extremely common.Īccording to statistics, one out of every four women and one out of every nine men will be abused by a partner at some point in their lives.
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